17 Things I’ve Learned

Can I be totally honest with you? … Good.

I have a travel site but I haven’t traveled abroad since September 2007. Many of you know I’ve talked about London on more than a few occasions so why am I still in Sweden? The truth is I’ve had some soul searching — and healing — to do. I was, and am, in therapy because of a few unresolved issues and self-destructive habits I need/needed to get over. (Nothing too serious. I’m not a substance abuser or anything.)

I see therapy as a form of life coaching, a way to confront and accept the past, learn how to improve and avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. Move on. And I’m getting there. Not far to go now. It feels way better leaving Sweden when I know I don’t have any ‘unfinished business’ to deal with. Talking with friends (or family) can only get you that far. Sometimes it’s good to speak with a professional, to hear an objective viewpoint, get another perspective on things.

Apart from serving as a site for travel news, tips, photos, videos and interviews I also see Travel Blissful as my space, where I can write down my thoughts about things that relate to travel. Of course I can write about more personal stuff in a diary but when I share it online with other people it’s like a ‘public confession’, which makes it easier to move on.

And if you like it, great. If not, no problem.

In the fall of 2007 I told friends (and a few persons I had contact with online) I would return to London in November, then I said December, and then January. Back then I didn’t even think I needed anymore therapy. When I finally began therapy in early 2008 I expected to finish after a few weeks but what I thought would last weeks turned into months. Before I knew it, the winter was over. So I said March. I’ll make it to March. Didn’t happen. Ok. I’ll make it to April. Or the summer. At least. Didn’t happen. I kept postponing. Before I knew it, summer turned to autumn and I still told people I’d travel soon. Perhaps in a few weeks. I wanted to travel so badly and believed I would sort things out sooner rather than later. The autumn passed faster than expected, the first snow fell onto the streets and we started making New Year’s plans.

A new year. 2009. In a way, I felt different. In January I decided to book a flight at the end of February, in time for London Fashion Week. Didn’t happen. Once again, I misjudged the situation. What happened to me? I’m not keeping my word. I’ve become like the people who only talk about doing things but don’t get around to actually doing them. Empty words. No action. This has gotta change. No more saying I’m gonna do something, travel somewhere at a certain date, unless I’m 100% sure I will.

So I learned.

1. Don’t say you’ll travel at a certain date unless you aren’t sure

This mistake made me think about what else I’ve learnt that has to do with traveling. If I look back.

2. Spontaneity is great, sometimes

My first travel memory involved mom, dad and I in a car somewhere in Yugoslavia. We stop alongside the road, where I catch sight of a hot spring. I think it looks like a bubble bath.

“I want to swim mom.”

After putting on my bathing suit, I jump into the hot spring, sit down on the bottom next to another three-year-old kid and play with the bubbles.

I remember my often effortless childhood summers in Frösakull, Sweden. The summers that never seemed to end. From what I can remember, most of what we did was spontaneous, unplanned, spur-of-the-moment kinds of things. I like to remind myself of that carefree attitude whenever I travel and act spontaneously from time to time. How boring it would be if every single day of a trip was already planned for.

On the other hand…

3. Too much impulsiveness is not good

For me, this mostly applied to shopping; reckless spending, buying before thinking. As I wrote in a previous post: there’s nothing wrong with shopping but memorable experiences matter more than material wants.

4. There’s no need to worry about whether things will work out

One month before graduating gymnasium I had a few options of what to do during and after the summer but hadn’t made up my mind. I believed everything would fall into place in the end anyway. And it did. About a week before the holidays I got a job offer abroad and left Sweden two weeks later.

I’d say this applies to any situation in which you have many options but aren’t sure about what to choose. Trust that things will work out and they’ll usually do.

5. Whatever you do, don’t travel without insurance

If my parents hadn’t bought a travel insurance policy before I was involved in a skiing accident and broke my collar bone in Åre in ‘92, I wouldn’t have gotten 40,000 SEK in compensation. Same thing if I hadn’t had insurance during our trip to Trysil nine years ago, when I injured my wrist and couldn’t go snowboarding for the rest of the week. Hadn’t I taken out an insurance before my trip to Lanzarote in ‘05 I wouldn’t have received 12,000 SEK as a compensation for my arm injury. Injuries can happen when you least expect it and you’ll be glad you had insurance.

6. Don’t avoid trying new activities for no other reason than ’cause you’re afraid to get hurt

Before going waterskiing in ‘04 I was afraid I’d hurt my legs in some way, during my first time surfing in ‘05 I was far from calm, and when I took motorcycle lessons in ‘06 I was scared I’d skid in a curve and get injured. I didn’t hurt myself from any of these activities. I was a bit scared, but I did it anyway. I learned that feeling completely fearless is near impossible. The fear won’t hurt you unless you let it control you.

7. Don’t act foolish

With not acting foolish I refer to staying safe when you travel solo; learning who to trust and who to avoid. Striking up conversations with strangers is often fun, but I tend to share too much of my thoughts sometimes, even with strangers. I find you can often see who is genuinely interested in nothing more than a friendly chat and who has other intentions. Not always though. If you get a bad feeling (a gut instinct that something’s not right) when talking to someone you don’t know, just leave.

8. You can’t help everyone

I remember a trip I made to Stockholm when I was 14. As I stood on the underground platform, a homeless man in his late twenties, or early thirties, approached me. I looked at his dirty clothes, unshaven face and tired expression.

“I have no home, no job, and no money. I need money. Can you help me?”

I hadn’t talked with a homeless person before. I contemplated what to say. Three seconds later he stared into my eyes , waited for a response. I didn’t know what to say, or do.

“Great. Thanks a lot.” I didn’t fail to notice the sarcasm in his voice. He stepped away from me and approached an older lady further down on the platform.

9. Book accommodation for at least one day before arriving in a new city

In 2004, after two month’s work at a summer camp in Michigan, a friend and I made plans to spend 14 days in New York. We talked about booking a room in a hostel for a few days to begin with but instead (out of laziness) decided to take care of it once we arrived. Not a good idea. Most hostels were fully booked. I started calling hotels from the tourist information at the airport. I’ve never heard “I’m sorry but we’re fully booked tonight” that many times in the same day before. Fortunately, in the end, we found a double room at the Hotel Wolcott on 31^st Street. But since then I’ve always made sure to secure accommodation for at least one day before traveling.

10. Don’t depend on your parents

With three days left in New York, I woke up one morning and realized I only had $90 in my account. I was 19 and still hadn’t learned how to make a proper travel budget. I was irresponsible and thoughtless. After a phone call home the situation was taken care of. But I learnt that I can’t expect my parents to support me financially. That is my own job.

11. Don’t call home from your hotel

The aforementioned phone call costed me about $100. When I picked up the phone that morning, it didn’t even occur to me that calling overseas from a Times Square hotel would be that expensive. Unless a hotel offers free unlimited international calls (which is pretty rare) I usually don’t call from hotels. If I do, I check the fees first.

12. Do ask for an upgrade

When we checked into the aforesaid Times Square hotel, after only having stayed in hostels, the receptionist gave us the magnetic card to a double room on the 10th floor. Thanks to my friend, who asked if they had any available rooms higher up, he offered us a room on the second highest floor and we got an amazing view over Manhattan.

They might not give you another room, but you’ve got nothing to lose from asking.

13. Get at least five hours sleep per night

I need at least five hours sleep to function properly, preferably seven, or eight, but sleep hasn’t always been a high priority.

In ‘04, after a day at Cedar Point in Ohio, we were on our way back to Michigan. Once we reached Detroit, my friend drove the wrong direction on 8 Mile and we ended up on its most crime-ridden stretches. Mostly because I was supposed to help reading the map, but instead almost fell asleep in the backseat. The night before my friend was too tired to continue driving at night (understandable) so we stopped at a rest area and slept in the car. Not ideal.

If I had slept enough hours the night before that summer night in New York the same year, we wouldn’t have gotten lost in Harlem in the middle of the night (despite our map), searching for our hotel. Luckily a taxi driver (who seemed genuinely concerned) pointed us in the right direction.

A few days later we decided to take the subway to a beach outside the city. The night before I got three to four hours sleep. I had never felt that terrible at reading maps before. When we passed the same station for the third time in a row and realized we had gone too far again (we were supposed to have changed trains somewhere before that station), I got a bit frustrated. What’s wrong with me? I know how to read maps. I’m normally a great map reader. And this is a subway map, basically the easiest map of them all. Why can’t I figure out how to get there? Suffice to say, we never made it to that beach.

If I had gotten enough sleep before my nine-hour flight from JFK to Heathrow in ‘04, I wouldn’t have felt the need to lie down on a sofa and rest my eyes for a minute. I fell asleep, a minute turned into an hour, and I woke up realizing I had missed my flight and had to wait another five hours for the next connection to Arlanda Airport in Stockholm.

14. Always bring your passport

A sunny spring day in ‘05 I was on my way from Zurich Hauptbahnhof to Strasbourg. As I waited in line to the passport control at the Swiss and French railway station in Basel (pictured to the left), about to enter France, it hit me. I didn’t bring my passport. How could I forget? It’s still on the kitchen table in my apartment in Zurich. What should I do? About ten persons in line before it was my turn. Ok. I can return to Zurich and get my passport. No. That’s gonna take too long. I can simply say “I’m sorry but I forgot my passport” and hope for the best. No. I will come across as indifferent, irresponsible. They won’t let me pass. But why don’t I pretend like everything is fine…until they ask for my passport and I’ll act as if I know I’ve brought it but can’t remember where I put it? Yes. This is gonna work.

Only two persons before me. I faked a bored expression.

“Your passport please.”

I smiled at the passport controller.

“Of course.”

I opened my handbag. Still calm. Checked my jeans pocket. The other jeans pocket. I checked the pockets in my jacket. My wallet. The bag again. I mustered my most worried face expression. “I’m sorry. I can’t remember where I put it.” I opened my handbag again and rummaged through my stuff.

The Swiss passport controller asked for another identity card. I gave him my driver’s license.

“Where are you going?”

“To Strasbourg. To visit a friend.”

After him talking to his stern looking colleagues for a minute or two, he returned with a smile on his face.

“Are you from Sweden?”

“Yes.”

“Jag studerade på universitetet i Göteborg. Jag kan prata lite svenska.” (I studied at the University in Gothenburg. I can talk little Swedish.)

I nod. “Göteborg är en vacker stad.” (Gothenburg is a beautiful city.)

He gave me my driver’s license. “Du kan gå.” (You can go.)

“I don’t need my passport?”

“No.”

–

I was lucky that time, but since then I’ve always made sure to pack my passport first.

15. You don’t have to plan everything

I can make commitments. I’m a great researcher. I’m good at organizing stuff. But when it comes to planning, I have more progressing to do.

Heath Ledger once said:

I’m not good at future planning. I don’t plan at all. I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. I don’t have a day planner and I don’t have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.

A fair amount of planning when traveling can only benefit you, but at times I have gone as far as Heath Ledger and not planned anything at all.

16. Bring the right currency when you travel

A sunny Sunday in Zurich about four years ago I didn’t have any plans for the day and felt like traveling somewhere. I decided to take the train to St. Gallen, another Swiss city. Once I got there I saw it wasn’t too far from Boden See (Lake Constance). I bought a train ticket to Rorschach and once I got there and saw the beautiful lake, I got this thought: “I wonder if it’s possible to travel by train around the whole lake.” I decided to give it a try. I hopped on the next train to Bregenz, arrived after thirty minutes and set out to explore the city.

By lunchtime I went into a café near the lakeshore. As I was looking at the menu I realized people were speaking differently here. Am I not in Switzerland anymore? I stood up and turned to the waitresses.

“What country is this?”

They looked at me as if I was crazy.

“Austria.”

This is not Switzerland. I’m in Austria.

“I can’t pay with Swiss Francs here, right?”

“No. This is Austria.”

I had traveled so fast that I somehow missed noticing I was no longer in Switzerland. Despite only having Swiss Francs I decided to continue. I wanted to travel around the lake. I could pay for the train tickets with my credit card, but since banks weren’t open on Sundays and bank automats were either out of order or hard to find, I stuck to drinking water.

I travelled to Lindau, Germany, carried on to Friedrichshafen and hung out with a few local teenage girls I got to know in Ludwigshafen. Once I reached Konstanz, Switzerland, at around 9pm, I ate my first meal since breakfast. And I made it back to Zurich at 11pm in time for work the next day.

Lessons learned: a) check before going somewhere what countries you will travel through, b) exchange currency before leaving, c) you can enjoy your trip without food for longer than usual, d) spontaneous trips are some of the best ones.

17. Don’t leave coins (visible for anyone to see) in your hotel room unless it’s a tip for the house keeper

I have a habit of mostly paying with notes, perhaps out of laziness. After a while this creates an overabundance of coins in my wallet. One morning, in a hotel room in London, I emptied my wallet, put all the coins on the desk and started to count them. About £30 in coins. I decided to change them for notes somewhere.

After breakfast I went back to the room to get my handbag, but totally forgot the coins on the desk. When I returned to my hotel room later that day, all the coins were gone. The house keeper. She must have thought it was my tip.

–

To conclude, I have made my share of mistakes when traveling. I’m glad I’ve been able to learn from them as well.

Possibly related posts:

1. Favorite Hotel Views
2. Lessons Learned: Photography Mistakes I Won’t Commit Again
3. Writing About Places You’ve Never Visited